Don’t force things to last.
Relationships are hard to maintain, some work out till the end and some fail no matter how two people work on them. This one is for those of you who think you’re living a lie, those of you who think you’re “dragging the relationship” or are “being dragged with someone”. This is about the harsh realities that all of us have to face at least once in our lives, the harsh realities of the fact that we don’t always get what we want no matter how badly we may want it. If your relationships match more than three signs, you need to sit and talk about it and see where it goes.
1. You fight constantly over measly and petty issues
Two people who care about each other and respect each other tend to ignore measly problems and small issues for the love of their partners. They have a lot of patience for their partners and they don’t want them to get into any arguments with them, they try to avoid arguments with everything they have. But when a relationship is dying, people lose their level of patience and they don’t think twice before fighting over the smallest of things.
2. You don’t think of them before taking big steps anymore
When two people are in love with each other, they make sure that their love plays a big part in the important steps of their lives, they make sure that their partners are involved in every big decision they take and every big life plan they make. But when love starts dying, we start thinking for ourselves without keeping our partners in mind because they don’t have the same position in our minds anymore. This leads to a lot of fights and a lot of taunts like “You don’t even think of me anymore”.
3. You consume your time in other things more
When two people are in love and are happy with each other, they tend to take out as much time as they can for each other regardless of how busy they are, because love cannot be bothered with busy schedules and no one is busy when it comes to sentiments and feelings. When people start falling out of love, they tend to occupy themselves in other activities more, they tend to do more things that would make them busy and keep them at a distance with their partners. It feels like even the smallest of activities is more important than trying to plan a meetup with your partner.
4. The future doesn’t matter to you anymore
When people are in love, their main motive and goal are to spend a life together; spending a happy life together is the ultimate goal of every relationship. But when love fades away, the future doesn’t really matter anymore because you aren’t as hopeful about it as you once were. So you don’t plan things anymore, you don’t save anymore and you just live life each day as it comes.
5. You find yourself taking an interest in other people
It’s natural to be charmed by someone even when you’re in a relationship, but it’s a completely different thing when you can sometimes imagine a life with those people and think of how different things would have been had it been them. This happens because your heart isn’t completely a hundred percent in that relationship anymore and it’s looking for happiness and peace elsewhere.
6. You start remembering their mistakes
People in love tend to let things go for the sake of their relationships. They let go of the fights and forget the arguments and continue working for a better and happier future. But when love fades away, even the smallest of the fight is remembered and you may use it against them during another fight. This is a very destructive thing to do because the fights never end and the couple is found stuck within a vicious cycle of fights and heated arguments and they can’t remember the last time they were “just okay” with each other.
7. You can’t discuss your feelings without having an argument
This is a continuation to my last point when two people start falling out of love, they tend to develop a fear of sentimental discussions. They don’t want to talk about their feelings because every little topic leads to a fight. This is highly destructive because open communication is a vital part of every long-lasting and happy relationship and people can’t be happy with each other without having complete transparency when it comes to letting the feelings out.
8. “Emotional Silence”
People who are truly in love are very emotional and affectionate with each other. Their actions and their words are filled with emotions and affection. But when love falls out of place, the affection starts dying and the emotions start fading away. You think twice before saying anything sweet because you think your feelings aren’t being cherished and you’re just wasting your emotions on someone who’d just ignore them. This leads to a condition I call “Emotional Silence”.
9. You’re not proud of having them anymore
When someone asks me about my girlfriend, I very happily and proudly tell them about how happy I am to have her in my life. This is because that’s what love does to you, it gives you a very different feeling of pride because of your partner and the love you share together. You don’t think twice before putting up nice pictures with them and talking about them with family and friends. But when love starts dying, people don’t feel the same pride anymore and they tend to ignore the topic of their relationships. They usually say “it’s complicated” or “we are working on it.”.
10. You don’t get scared at the thought of a breakup
The thought of a breakup makes me shiver, it has the same effect on people who are madly in love with each other and are in a happy relationship together. If you’re at a stage in your relationship where you just don’t fear a breakup happening, you’re completely damaged in that relationship and it doesn’t really matter to you.